2010

Today is 27/2/10~7 months 1 week 1 day already i break with daniel~
5 months 2 days already i'm in relationship with ah fan~
at first, i accepted ah fan because i hope he can help me to forget daniel~
but i didn't tell ah fan about this~
ya~i did it~i really can forget daniel~but something still stuck inside my heart~
although I already forget our passed time, but I really hope we still can be friend~
from the 1st day we break until today, we din even talk to each other~
i think that...i should hate him because he always do something to hurt me~
but don't know why i din~even i still don't know what is the reason we will break~
Sometime...i really hate myself~
ah fan really treat me very good~he is my 1st bf that treat me as good as so~
but sometime he do something that make me ignore him~
Yesterday...during the bowling competition i really feel very happy~
long time i din do so~go to interact with leos~
but he seems like very boring and moody~
i don't know he want like this~
at first, i have told him~ during leo event we don't always stand by side~including hold each other hand~
but yesterday he always do so~make me feel ignore~
This morning...i told wince that sometime something i really won't share with ah fan~
but i will share with law or boo~i don't know why~
i don't know why~this morning at kopitiam he always say something that make me feel ignore~
Just now...ah fan told me that he think that i still miss daniel~
i felt confuse~why will like that~
haiz~i don't know what am i writing~
someone can tell me what's going on?

Started a new relationship. Don't know why for this time i din have 100% confidence in relationship. I think is get too much hurt. I really very hate sam tet. Don't know why I didn't do anything, they still want to talk something behind me. Say bad things. I really feel very angry. But I can't do anything. That's the fact. This time exam I gonna kill myself. I can't imagine how bad are the results. I have read. but when doing the paper, I forget the formula. Haiz. Recently always headache. Club stuff always disturb me although i'm having exam. I can't imagine next year how bad is my club. I scare I can't even get a merit award during the forum. Really fell dissapointed to my members. No one of them can help me. I'm very tired.

Today is 19/9/09, Saturday. Already 2 months. But I still can't 100% forget him. Sometime I will ask myself. Am I stupid? My friend asked me. Why he treat me so bad, I didn't hate him. I answered I don't know. Sick for 4 days already. Really suffer. No energy to chat with anyone.

Daphia(created by Vivian)?Daniel + Sophia = Daphia?? Tuesday I went to Bio tuition. I realised that Daphia is a animal. Quite funny. Maybe this is the reason that we can't find. This few day I very hardworking. Always finish homework so fast. Now his effect for me is less than 50% already. Is it a good news for me? My friend asked me that will he regret that he bought a handphone that same with mine. I answered I don't know.

Last Saturday attended Sam Tet's function. I din even talk with him. I scare he will hurt me again. During lunch time my friend told me that he went to chase girl. Then I said I can sure he won't come near to our table. It's true. Someone advised me don't do anything. Just let time to change everything. I think I can do it. After that went to parade. When walk with ah fan, kenny and zheng hoong, suddenly saw him in front of me. It's quite far. I asked kenny bring me walk to another way. What Chea said is true. I need to stay far away from him. Then only I won't get hurt. I feel sorry. That I can't face Chea. When he say Goodbye to me, I din bother him. Next month is my birthday. I din even hope I will get any present from my friends. I just hope won't happen any sad thing on that day.

I heard that HE has been changed. Changed to another person. Is it true? Should I believe the person that told me those thing? I really don't know. The person hurt me too. I really don't understand. I take him as best friend. How can he do this to me? It's not fair for me. But I know this world seldom have anything is fair. I don't know what can I do. Anyone can tell me?

Today go out play badminton with friends. This is the time for me to relax and stop think of him. But when I rest, suddenly I think of him. I tell myself stop. Don't think of him again. This is the time for me to relax. Finally, I did it. Now very tired oh. Stay at Vivian's home. Don't what time can go home. Waiting for mum to fetch.